where you'll find me now

also from the inside

2011-10-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

have y'ever taken a photograph that when you look at it, you feel as though you've taken a photograph from within yourself?

goal: accomplished

2011-02-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

before / after

that is what an accomplished goal looks like, right there. a few months ago, i lost track of the lovely recycling fairy and could never remember which week was mine. my neighbors were no help, seeing as some of them leave their yellow and green bins out all of the time with little to no trash in them. but upon receiving a sticker in the mail alerting me to which weeks were mine for the entire year, i gathered all of my appropriate items and put them out for the recycling fairies to take away.

i wonder if the garbage men thought i had a raging party this weekend.

(the picture actually doesn't really do the recycling situation justice.)

this really felt good. i've had a lot of recycling to take out to the curb for a few months now, but i kept messing up which days were the pick up days. i received a sticker in the mail and now i'm back on track.

another post!

the new year.

2011-01-11T20:45:00.000-08:00

so here it is. 2011. i'm gladly using the start of the new year as a jumping off point. the time to start anew. the beginning of another revolution around the calendar year. a reason to do something.

most of my resolutions are plans that i have made for myself that include changing and growing and learning and resolving, but they are all like wishes - i'm afraid if i say them aloud, they won't come true. so i'm keeping them to myself for now.

i had big plans for this year, back when it was last year. i am already starting to wonder if they will happen the way i hoped they were going to, back then.

oh back then. you were only 12 days ago, but you seem so far away.

i wanted to give last year a mean, little pinch as i shoved it out the back door. i said good riddance several times under my breath as the new year started to stretch its new legs. but when i stop to think about it now, i can only put my finger on a few moments that i would rather forget than forgive.

there are several moments i am very proud of and find worthy of celebration. there are several others i am very proud of and find worthy of quiet reflection. i definitely moved forward, i definitely sat still, but i can't say i moved backwards. there really is only one way to go.

onward, ho!

a new, new start

2010-03-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

sometimes it's good to take a weekday trip up to the lake with your brother and sisters. it's too bad that the opportunity to get all of us together will only happen once in a long while.

(so much has happened since the last time i posted anything on this li'l thing that it's hard to know where to start.)

my brother married an awesome lady, so now i have a great sister-in-law. she's so great that the moniker "sister-in-law" doesn't really seem to fit.

my big sis was in town for about a week and it really didn't seem long enough. too much wedding and hoopla to just hang out and do the little things. this just means that i'll have to make another trip over to see her.

so. here's to weekday trips up to the lake.

christmas lights

2010-01-20T16:53:00.000-08:00

i realize it might seem a bit strange to post a christmas lights photo slideshow when it's almost february.

but. so what? i'm going to do it.

parts of my sister's neighborhood in brooklyn goes all out when it comes to decorating for christmas. seriously. i've never seen anything like it. ever. it's crazy. and while i think the photos might give you a bit of an idea, they still don't do it justice. seriously.

(i also used a trial version of lightroom 2 to resize these. i don't know if i did it the way i really want to, so the quality may suffer a bit.)

enjoy.

2009-12-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

(a sneak peek of what's to come... only just started sifting through the hundreds of photos i took on my trip to new york for the holiday... the big sister's neighborhood is full of hardcore christmas decorators. even saying that doesn't give the kind of bravado these folks deserve.)

where you'll find me now

2009-12-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

yes. my new neighborhood (while covered in a large blanket of snow at the moment) is one of white fences and interesting houses. it's only a mile or so from where i was living eight months ago, but it's on the edge of an older reno 'hood and has a different atmosphere.

life has been strange as of late. after a few drafts of explanation, i feel like leaving it at that. i'm hoping to get back to the practice of putting things onto the the internet. i will try.

not seeing the forest because there are trees in the way.

2009-10-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

the wheel

2009-07-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

ferris wheel at coney island. (click on it. it gets big.)

i'm glad we didn't opt to ride in the crazy swinging cage.

something something summertime.

2009-07-07T18:47:00.001-07:00

(just a summertime skateboard.)

man have i been busy.

and at the moment, i really only have enough attention span to type a tiny bit.

a tiny bit.

(does that joke translate?)

a few things about my life right now:
1. i'm really enjoying working at the cafe every day. although it has its shortcomings and things i can complain about, i really like doing the work. baking is making me happy right now and gives me a few hours of working meditation every day.

we are establishing quite the interesting group of regular folks, which i think is one of my favorite parts of working in that kind of a place. and unlike the coffee counters, their lives aren't filled with medical problems or family members with medical problems. kinda takes the pressure off, if you know what i mean.

2. that's about it. i have my usual burning man stuff that i'm working on when i get home, my other courier job that's been slow going the last few months, and harper. the cat who has found the bathroom sink and bathtub to be the coolest places he can sleep during the day.

3. i'm going to get back on the photography and the website updating. i'm getting used to my new life and schedule after the cafe opened and it's been a doozy of a thing to get used to.

so. that's where you'll find me now. stirring and whirring.

apartamento de soosin

2009-05-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

i think all of the hours spent watching those interior decorating shows did my sister well. her apartment is cozy and really feels like hers. when i was there, i snapped a few photos of her living room to keep as reminders, i guess, of what you can do with a little space to make it feel more comfortable. i don't know, i just really like it. and of course, i know how the parents like to see how she's doing all of the way over on the other coast.

(living room window)

(this is above her couch. hanging from the ceiling is the lamp with the lampshade made out of strips of cloth. these are her drawings in homemade frames. another thing i like about her place is her artwork is displayed prominently. these line drawings are pretty sweet.)

(for those of you who don't know, these are munnies. they are blank when purchased and the idea is to draw/paint/whatever to them to make them your own. the mask on the left one is made out of some kind of foam/clay/something. i forget. they sit on top of a tall bookshelf.)

(the desk worth more than she paid for it. which, i think, was nothing. this is the wall facing the window in the first picture.)

so them're just a few snapshots of what her apartment looks like. well, at least the living room. kind of. it's a small, uncluttered (something i need to learn how to accomplish) little place that i enjoyed staying in whilst i was there.

i hope she doesn't mind the glimpse into her abode. hehe.

my sister

2009-05-04T08:28:00.001-07:00

(in philadelphia.)

i have yet to really dig into the photos i took during my trip to hang out with my big sister in new york. i've glanced at them and found this one to be one of my favorites.

my sister.

i don't know how many times we laughed ourselves into hilarious oblivion, but i know it was many. (it was also pointed out on several occasions that we giggle and laugh in unison.) i chuckle just thinking about it.

i love my big sister and had a super awesome time during my eight full days spent sleeping on her sofa. i am already thinking about the next time we will be able to laugh so hard we think we might just die.

in the meantime, i will be sorting through the hundreds of photos i made and posting them here along with stories told about our trip. (also on flickr.)

skate ramp

2009-04-06T08:52:00.001-07:00

(photo taken out of my living room window. i don't really care if this kid knows or doesn't know or cares about me taking his picture. i'm pretty sure he used a racial slur when addressing the guy who goes around collecting aluminum cans in my neighborhood. so one picture of him doing a pretty sweet ollie off of his homemade skate ramp is us being even?)

i'm finally starting to feel "at home" in my new apartment. it's been a while since i moved all of my stuff and i'm only starting to feel that way. unpacking and figuring out where everything should go has taken a long time, this time around. maybe it's because it's a smaller space and i have a lot of stuff.

and i've started to get a sense of who some of my neighbors are. or in some cases have started to see how mysterious and kind of crazy they really are.

for instance: a guy living downstairs and about three or so apartments down leaves his house everyday around the same time. this is not unusual, i realize, but he does so pretty bundled up, carrying a duffel bag. not entirely out of the ordinary, i know. but as soon as he shuts his door, he hugs his bag to his chest and sprints down the street. also he's so bundled up that you cannot tell his age, ethnicity, and i'm really only guessing that it's actually a man. and he's not dressed to exercise. and maybe he's just late to catch his bus every single day, but his demeanor doesn't really express that either. i can't exactly put my finger on it, but there's just something very.. peculiar.. about the whole thing.

and of course the lady who lives at the other end of the building from me, who on one of my first nights staying overnight at my new apartment, made me move my car two spaces over (out of four) so she could park in her space. she wasn't entirely pleasant about the whole thing, knocking on my door a few minutes after her initial request so we "...could do it.. NOW?" i understand the inability to want to break out of habit, the importance of a parking space, i know how people can get. so i went out and moved my car. she came over the next day and handed me two different kinds of body lotion as well as some bath/shower gel stuff. it was completely awkward and she obviously felt kind of ashamed by the whole ordeal and wanted me to know she appreciated my polite compliance with her craziness. (she is also responsible for the cats who have been sitting outside my apartment door driving harper completely bonkers. they live across the street, but she insists on putting out food for them when she comes home from work.)

i share a building with six other occupied apartments (and one currently unoccupied) and i'm sure they will continue to provide me with this particular kind of entertainment.

people are a funny group of animals.

meow mrow mrow: happy birthday harper

2009-03-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

harper is a year old today.

the decision to seek out a feline companion was not "well thought out" or "unspontaneous" in any way. it took about two days from start to finish, and at the end of it i had a little kitten friend snooping around my apartment.

he was such a cute kitten.

then he jumped off of the couch onto the coffee table, missed the landing and cracked his little kitten femur. they put in a metal pin that was attached to an exterior metal brace. it was scary and expensive and kind of funny.

it's been an interesting year for me and harper, that's for sure. and i'm looking forward to many interesting years to come.

yes, he's a cat. and yes, i love him. and yes, i'm wishing him a happy birthday.

2009-03-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

it was sunny today with a wind that carried quite a bite. a walk with a pal organized and executed within ten minutes made for reason enough to get out in the chilled air.

i am looking forward to warm sunshine.

yesterday i sat in a local restaurant's rooftop seating area in the sun. while having a few of my favorite locally brewed beers, i caught a glimpse of the future. i saw rooftop beers in hot summer weather, wearing sandals and sunglasses. it is definitely something to look forward to.

i finally picked up my bicycle today and rode around the neighborhood. it was being held onto during the moving madness and had its tires pumped up. i am a big fan of the first ride of bicycle season (yes, i am a fairweather two-wheeler) and while i kinda wished i had a pair of gloves on, it was pretty awesome.

today was the kind of good sunday that included a nice walk, a bike ride and a handful of photos made.

neigh

2009-03-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

back on the ranch.

there were several horses, but this gal here was the most friendly towards me. she didn't run to the other side of the pen when i started to take pictures. i had more of a problem with her trying to eat my camera.

we went out to this ranch (i forget the name. pa? i know you'll know) as a part of a workshop for Shooting the West. we were greeted by a super friendly couple, both dressed to the nines in their cowboy gear. They gave us free rein (ha) on their property and i tried to capture something other than the classic horse/cowboy/western photos i felt a lot of the other workshoppers might be trying for.

so i ended up with photos of slightly abstract horses and goats, rusty bicycles and the backs of folks' heads.

here is a glimpse into the couple who let us invade their home:

other captures:

balloons

2009-02-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

new

2009-02-17T07:31:00.001-08:00

at the end of today, i will have the keys to these windows.

i'm not happy about my move. i want to stay in my current apartment. i love its location, i enjoy the eccentricity of my neighbors, it's a great size and i really feel comfortable here. but not unlike my fellow americans, i am feeling the pinch of these economic times. i needed to find somewhere cheaper to live and after looking around for a small while, this is the place that i found. i'm sure once i get moved in and am able to make it feel like my home, it will be fine. i'm looking forward to saving a lot more money each month.

but for now, it's a bittersweet decision.

(i really wanted to write symphony there. damn you The Verve)

all the same

2009-02-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

* * * * * * * * *

As human beings, we are all the same. So there is no need to build some kind of artificial barrier between us. At least my own experience is that if you have this kind of attitude, there is no barrier. Whatever I feel, I can express; I can call you 'my old friend'. There is nothing to hide, and no need to say things in a way that is not straightforward. So this gives me a kind of space in my mind, with the result that I do not have to be suspicious of others all the time. And this really gives me inner satisfaction, and inner peace.
So I call this feeling a 'genuine realization of the oneness of the whole of humanity'. We are all members of one human family. I think that this understanding is very important, especially now that the world is becoming smaller and smaller. In ancient times, even in a small village, people were able to exist more or less independently. There was not so much need for others' co-operation. These days, the economic structure has completely changed, so that modern economies, relying on industry, are totally different. We are heavily dependent on one another, and also as a result of mass communication, the barriers of the past are greatly reduced. Today, because of the complexity of interdependence, every crisis on this planet is essentially related with every other, like a chain reaction. Consequently it is worthwhile taking every crisis as a global one. Here barriers such as 'this nation' or 'that nation', 'this continent', or 'that continent' are simply obstacles. Therefore today, for the future of the human race, it is more important than ever before that we develop a genuine sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. I usually call this a sense of 'universal responsibility'.

--from Dzogchen: The Heart Essence of the Great Perfection by the Dalai Lama, translated by Thupten Jinpa and Richard Barron

* * * * * * * * *

happy monday.

SF to Nevada to SF

2009-02-08T17:59:00.001-08:00

just a photo of a water jug that sits outside my front door.

happy sunday.

the visitor*

2009-02-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

an eQ remnant

the late winter doldrums were interrupted this past weekend with a visit from eQ. she flew in from the north bearing gifts and helped pull me out of the recent chilly malaise i've been experiencing.

we walked around an abandoned hotel/mineral spa. we cruised up to lake tahoe. we watched football and played rock band. overall, it was a good weekend. her visit was paired with warmer weather and so our trip to the lake was even more pleasant than i had hoped.

what remains are well-placed post-it notes and an overall refreshed sense of well-being. visits from friends from far away are always welcome.

*see also The Visitor. i really liked this movie. it came highly recommended by my father, and i definitely appreciate the suggestion. there are moments of joy, sadness and musical goodness. i can understand why richard jenkins is an academy award nominee.

the taste of freedom

2009-01-26T08:34:00.001-08:00

yes, another picture of my feline friend.

harper really enjoys being outside. i'm not really comfortable with him wandering, hence the harness and leash. it's our compromise.

(about a year and a half ago, there was a cat stolen from jean, an awesome old lady who shares my courtyard. a friendly cat whose only fault was saying hello to folks passing by. she was awesome and someone decided that she needed a new home. she wore a collar and was obviously a part of our li'l community. it was very sad. so i worry.)

it sprinkled snow this morning. i was not pleased by it. i need spring.

reading!

2008-12-17T19:12:00.000-08:00

i thought about reading today.

at lunchtime, i sat and ate my sandwich and thought about reading.

at the time, i was looking at a "reading" in Harper's Magazine. it was in memory of the author David Foster Wallace, a collection of remarks given at his memorial service. since his death a few months ago, i've read quite a few pieces about him and his work, written by authors and others i admire. they are full of sadness and veneration, about him personally and his body of work.

i've tried to read his most-often-mentioned book, Infinite Jest, twice. for a long time, i dismissed him for clearly very superficial reasons. too many people thought he was too much of a genius. and there was this one guy i went to college with, and loathed, who really liked DFW. he based his honors project on Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. he was the kind of college guy who wanted to be cool via all of the right bands, t-shirts and all of the right books. at least that's how i saw him. he also had this weird, keen interest in one of my best friends. not a good combination.

so admittedly, DFW hardly had a chance. or at least Infinite Jest didn't. i've read a couple of his other books and writings found in the random magazine or on random websites. and i've liked them. i will even go so far as to say i enjoy reading his work. but the 981-page-behemoth just couldn't reel me in - i couldn't get over the reputation of the author, i found the book inaccessible, it's really heavy and cumbersome to carry around, etc...but after reading yet another piece about how important and good this book should be, i'm curious again.

which led me to more general thoughts about my reading habits. i really like to read. i love indulging in a really good book, sitting in a comfortable spot for hours engrossed in a story. i like finding new authors and new writing styles, and i even spend a fair amount of time reading pieces by authors about writing or analyses of books.

but i haven't been reading lately. i've borrowed two books in which i haven't made it past page twenty or so. my sunday morning ritual of a hot cup of black coffee and a book and a bathtub has fallen by the wayside. i'm not proud to say it, but i watch more crappy television than i read. and when i say crappy, i really mean crappy. has anyone watched the show still standing? yikes. for every episode i've seen of that show, i should be giving all of my favorite authors ten dollars.

not to say i should be reading instead of watching television always. but i would definitely benefit by reading more. i've found myself unhappy with my 8/9o'clock bedtime because there are tv shows coming on that i would like to watch. this makes for less sleep and more zombie-like participation in my day-to-day life.

but i can read anytime!

i don't know if this is interesting to anyone but myself. but it opens up a whole slew of questions about what i find important in my life, what my priorities are, what i consider my interests to be, all ending with the bigger question - is this how i want it to be?

ski shoes in an alley behind a strip club

2008-12-10T14:19:00.001-08:00

i discovered this "scene" walking down an alley behind a strip club here in the biggest little city. the two shoes are the kind that clip into skis. the stick the american flag was originally on is placed under the metal loop the shoes are on either side of. the shirt on the ground looked like it was either meticulously or haphazardly placed.

scenes like this one are not uncommon in RNO. i'm starting to think there's a system of some kind for leaving items of clothing for others. i've seen jackets, shirts, shoes and pants laid out for someone to find. they are not tossed aside to be forgotten. they are carefully placed (not always, though. see: the shirt in the photo above) for someone to pick up and use. i don't know if these items are left to be gathered up by the same person later or if it's a signal of something or if it's just a "pay it forward" kind of thing, but it's definitely something. it's intriguing, that's for sure.

the gentleman who was intrigued by me and my camera (who, on a sidenote, kept saying i was for sure a member of a C.S.I. team and was documenting some kind of crime scene) speculated that these particular items were carefully placed in order to keep track of some kind of stash. "if one was to decode these clues," he said, "he could find where this person hid their stash." he really couldn't get his head around why i was walking around taking pictures of things like abandoned items of clothing. i'll admit i spent a few moments trying to decode this scene, but as i stood facing this concrete block, my back was to a huge open parking lot. not a lot of hiding places.

anyway. people are leaving each other clues all over this city. you just have to stop and pay attention to them.

backpacking power poles

2008-11-21T09:24:00.001-08:00

on a walk around reno, i noticed these backpacks hanging from this power pole. this was on a street where not much is happening and there's not a lot of traffic. there are a few transient folks milling about semi-frequently in the area but other than that, it's pretty quiet.

any ideas about these backpacks? they're fairly high up and would take some effort to get to. but they don't seem like electrician's bags or any kind of professional accessory. i'd like to know what other people think about why they're up there.

so. that's where you'll find me now. wondering.

everything's amazing. nobody's happy.

2008-11-18T15:14:00.000-08:00

via Big Contrarian

flag found

2008-11-06T19:22:00.001-08:00

(small flag found on the ground in an alley in a "less than desirable" part of reno)

i will admit it - i'm still bathing in the afterglow that is the election celebration. it's hype, but it's hope. i've traded in my cynicism for optimism. it may be fleeting, it may not last but a few days, weeks or months, but it's here now and i'm giving it a hug.

don't people write books on The Power of Positive Thinking? what's wrong with moving into the new term with the idea that things can be better, that we can improve ourselves and possibly our country?

i realize that idealism will not fix all that is broken. but i do not want to downplay the power of those ideas. i know there will be moments in the future when i will be disappointed and frustrated and angry, but i do think that if we collectively "poo poo" this upward momentum, we will be hindering our potential.

we can be good people. yes we can.

wahooey!

congratulations

2008-11-04T22:31:00.000-08:00

congratulations jen. i know you have spent many, many, many, actually countless hours working towards this historic moment.

and what can i say more than - you did good.

now come back west and let's celebrate!

John Hodgman and Lost Time

2008-10-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

from TED's "Ideas Worth Spreading" Talks.

John Hodgman: A brief digression on matters of lost time

via Coudal

VA cloud factory

2008-10-17T13:19:00.001-07:00

VA cloud factory
Originally uploaded by .sara

(this is my first try at updating my blog from my pocket)

i see this sight nearly every day, although sometimes i'm too early to catch the nice light. i like it, though. it has a nice, dreamy quality to it.

have a good one.

claremont HD

2008-10-04T13:29:00.000-07:00

Adam Kimmel presents: Claremont HD from adam kimmel on Vimeo.

watching this video made my palms sweat and my heart beat faster, like when my pals and i would "bomb bridge". that's when we would ride our skateboards from the top of bridge street down to the bowling alley/railroad tracks.. it was a steep street and i never made it all of the way down without wrecking and scraping the shit out of my knees/hands. it was scary. but super fun.

and no where close to what these guys are doing in this video. this is insane. and awesome.

cousins

2008-09-29T12:50:00.001-07:00

while it may look like harper and kendra are in the middle of a brawl on the couch, they are both fast asleep in this photo. kendra laid her head on harper's belly and harper sleepily wrapped his paws around her snout.

they spent their saturday and sunday chasing each other around Big Brother's house, loving every minute of it. every once in a while, they'd both pass out and were usually within inches of each other when they did.

while they ran amok, i spent a considerable amount watching the folks at Charm City Cakes make amazingly decorated cakes on Ace of Cakes and the odd other show or cheesy romantic comedy. yay for television.

make your own pasta sauce

2008-09-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

so i think everyone should make their own pasta sauce. i have a few reasons:
1. it can make you feel like an old, Italian grandmother
2. it impresses friends and strangers alike
3. it will taste exactly how you want it to
4. it's really not hard at all
5. it's actually kinda fun

i'm still messing around with the recipe, adding stuff and taking away others but i think i have the basics down.

here's what you need from the store, assuming you have nothing in your pantry at home. (some items you'll probably have already) the italicized items are optional.

what you need from the produce section:
fresh tomatoes - 3 to 4 lbs
cloves garlic - 1 bulb (you'll use 2-3 cloves for this recipe)
*fresh herbs (basil, parsley, marjoram, oregano, rosemary) - i just buy a little of each
carrots, onions, mushrooms or any other vegetables you like in your pasta sauce

from elsewhere in the store:
pepper - one of those grinder kinds, for the freshly ground pepper taste
boiled tomatoes - one small can
olive oil
balsamic vinegar
bottle of red wine

PREP STEPS:
wash your produce
chop up your vegetables
fill a pot full of water & turn on the heat
get out your saucepan
open your can of boiled/stewed tomatoes
open bottle of wine

STEP ONE:
with a sharp paring knife cut a cross on the bottom of each tomato. when water is hot (not boiling!) gently drop the tomatoes into the water. leave for one or two minutes or until you can see the skin kinda start to peel a little. don't leave too long.

step one and a half:
while tomatoes are swimming, pour a little (1-2 tblsp) olive oil in your saucepan and chop up your 2-3 cloves of garlic and put in saucepan. wait to turn it on.

STEP TWO:
turn down your water heat to medium (if you're going to make pasta. that way it's still warm/hot and won't take so long to boil) or just down.

using a slotted spoon, fish tomatoes out of hot water. rinse with cool water and using your paring knife, peel tomatoes, being sure to cut off the crown. once your tomatoes are peeled, give each tomato a good squeeze to rid it of excess water and the seeds. this is a fun part - squeeze the bejesus out of the tomatoes, you want them to disintegrate into a mushy pulpy pasta sauce consistency. if you don't like a messy kitchen, be a bit careful where you're pointing your squeezing. i ended up with tomato seeds in a few places i'd rather not have tomato seeds. like in my hair.

STEP THREE:
put the pulpy tomato goodness into a medium bowl and turn your saucepan heat up to medium/medium hot. let the garlic cook for 30-45 seconds stirring it around to cover the bottom of the pan and then pour in your tomatoes. keep the bowl handy. throw in a pinch of salt. stir the goodness around until the pulp starts breaking down and releasing juices.

once this starts to happen, using your slotted spoon, pick out the pulp and put it back in its medium bowl. this helps keep your pasta tasting tomatoey fresh. i think it also helps diminish the watery factor you can get with homemade sauces.

STEP FOUR:
throw in your vegetables. especially if you're adding carrots or other veggies that will take some time to soften. stir occasionally until it's pretty thick. once you need to scrape the bottom of the saucepan, add the tomatoes back in. stir it up good. turn the heat down to medium-low.

turn up your water heat and add your pasta when it starts to boil. if you're an olive oil in your pasta water person, add it - same if you're a salt in your pasta water person.

STEP FIVE:
the fiddling begins

during this step, taste often. keep an eye on your sauce. you know how thick you like your pasta sauce and using careful additions, you'll be able to make it taste exactly how you would like it.

pour a glub (a quick pour, maybe a couple of tablespoons. be careful not to over pour and liquid up your sauce too much) of wine and stir. if you're using the tube of herbs, squirt about a 1/2 inch to 1 inch into the four quadrants (north, south, east and west) of your pan and stir. pour some of the juice in and stir. squish these tomatoes and add them. add a glub of balsamic vinegar and stir. crack some pepper and stir. add a little garlic powder if you want. if you're using fresh herbs, add them and stir.

turn down the heat to low if you haven't already and leave your sauce alone for a little while. turn your attention to the other parts of your meal. let it sit with itself and get more delicious.

STEP SIX:
eat it up. put the rest in a jar in the fridge. give some to your friends. it'll last a few days. after the first time you do this, you get a feel for how you like it and once you get it down, it should only take 15-20 minutes to make. which is awesome. because it's delicious.

*you can use one of those Italian Seasoning Herb Blend tubes they have. it's weird, i know, but if you're not up for chopping up and experimenting with the quantities of herbs it's an easy alternative.

---

that's where you'll find me now. eating a piece of bread with pasta sauce on it.

beach boots

2008-09-16T20:03:00.001-07:00

my friend mandy putting her boots back on after a walk on the beach. maybe it's just because i know she's also as big of a fan as i am, but this photo makes me think of tom waits.

the ocean

2008-09-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

whilst in san francisco last weekend, after going to check out the frida kahlo exhibit at the MOMA there (a definite should see if the possibility is there - it leaves at the end of september) and grabbing a bite to eat in one of several, it seems, El Farolito Taquerias in The Mission, my pals and i went to the ocean.

(that was a messed up sentence. oops.)

my saturday:
1. frida kahlo @ sf moma
2. burritos @ el farolito taqueria
3. @ ocean

it was a beauty of a weekend. much fun was had. a great couple of hours were spent in the museum looking at paintings by and old photographs of frida kahlo (the exhibition itself is a whole 'nother post topic of its own. yeesh.) the evening before was spent playing all kinds of games ending at six in the morning. i got to ride on the back of a motorcycle - yippee! i went and saw the ocean.

i got some more valuable and precious time with friends i only see once a year and some i see a few times a year and another i see once every few days. these friendships mean the world to me, and after having only spent two weeks working with them in the desert, a short weekend relaxing was absolutely necessary. i love these people and to only see them sporadically and annually is not easy. a few extra days of great conversation and funny jokes, well, it helps make the rest of the year go by more quickly.

(although i must say we are all getting more and more fixated on the idea of getting together more often. if it's possible, why not?)

so i'm thankful. i'm thankful i was able to watch this beautiful sunset with some beautiful people.

that's where you would've found me then if you were looking last weekend.

stencil face update

2008-09-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

i've finally started to work more with wordpress and my photoblog.

i put up a link to a thumbnail index on the front page - if you visit stencilface and click on "my thumbs" you'll be taken there. i'm not digging the layout quite yet, but it's something. you can click on the thumbs and be taken to their original pages. woo!

go there! check it out!

(maybe i'll put more photos up there now. and do more stuff over there.)

that's where you'll find me now.

dusty shmusty

2008-09-04T21:01:00.001-07:00

every year i go to burning man, i live in a tent. (except that one year i borrowed a truck with one of those truck bed camper deals, which was completely awesome.) and almost every year i've shared a tent with another person, seeing as i've never owned my own and friends have always been gracious with their space and once you've done it for five years, what's six or seven?

the majority of these years were spent in the same two-man tent. the zippers and some of the other features of this li'l "home away from home" broke last year and the year prior. this was the year of living in a structure. my british pal - known out there as British Hussy - and i spent all year dreaming of a little "cottage". the only thing we wanted was a floor, four walls and a roof over our heads. we didn't even bring the old tent out to the desert this year, hoping that our boss had lived up to his word that he'd find a better place for us to lay our heads.

when we arrived, we headed over to his camp to find an enormous stack of canvas. rolls and bags of huge poles and slabs of canvas were loaded into the back of a truck. once we got it unloaded and unrolled and surveyed the contents, we were excited. then we were intimidated. we needed help to set it up. lots of help.

we joked about painting M*A*S*H on the side, or some sort of iraqi something or other.

here it is during a mild dust storm (it's sorta full of air in this photo, and you'll notice the background being washed out and gray/white. that's because of the dust.) the cot in the foreground was added to the mix after a week or so of sleeping on my sleeping mat.

the only thing it didn't really keep out was the dust. coming home from a graveyard shift, we found a lot of dust. A. LOT. OF. DUST. it was more dust than i've seen after a dust storm in all of my years at burning man. it was like it sucked it in and kept it there.

here's a photo of the dark floor cloth, my turquoise/black sleeping mat and other dusty items:

this was a ziploc bag i had t-shirts inside of. thank god.

maybe next year we'll have something big AND dust-proof.

gray

2008-08-11T20:41:00.001-07:00

remember months ago when the skies were gray and scarves were necessary?

as i prepare for weeks living out on the alkali desert in the heat and sun, i keep the gray skies in my pocket. a reminder of how good things can be.

ha. no, not really. while at this moment, i wish for cold days. but i will enjoy the sunshine and extreme heat. i will appreciate the dust and be proud of my home in the high desert.

(i'm still not ready. i have 180 muffins and 180 scones to bake (to be frozen) in the next three days. i have things to wash and pack. things to buy and pack. things to buy and wash and pack. just things to do. weeee!)

yeesh

2008-08-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

people on a beach.

it's mostly been baking, office work and robot kitten. and slicing my finger on my kitchen aid 2000. oh. and chess and world conquest on facebook. i keep losing, but keep playing.

and it's that time again. the time to open up my dusty closet to get out my dusty stuff to take out to get more dusty. that's right. time for burning man. i leave very soon and i'm not too sure i'm ready. year after year after year after year this happens. the time comes up and i realize i have no days to get everything together. yark. it's my own fault every year, it's not like i don't know when it's going to happen or haven't been doing work throughout the summer.

i want to get better at updating this. i seriously do.

i'm gonna try.

robot kitten

2008-07-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i added anything here. wow. and all i really have is cat news.

harper went to jump from the couch to the coffee table and didn't stick the landing. he landed on his leg and fractured his humerus. before the surgery, the doc said they were going to put in a pin and a plate kind of a thing, but i had no idea they were going to install a shoulder laser while they were at it.

he'll have the laser for about three weeks and after three more weeks should be just about healed. he's gonna have to be kept quiet and from running around which might be a struggle. he's already acting like he wants to jump up on stuff. i guess he thinks he's invincible.

poor li'l guy..

(the picture quality is poor, but i think you'll get the idea.)

crazy eyes

2008-06-23T19:57:00.001-07:00

harper in the junk mail box

yes. a picture of my cat. this is the crazy look when he holds still for less than one second before he darts off to tear around my apartment. he's awesome.

things have been busy around here. my car is terminally ill, my baking job is taxing and i haven't been feeling the best. woo!

in other words, i've started a new book Saturday by Ian McEwan. it's good so far.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

early to bed, early to rise and my cat is a boy.

2008-06-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

i wake up just before four every day.

it's early, four in the morning.

i've started to bake the muffins, scones, quick breads, cookies and biscotti for the three coffee counters i've been working behind for the past few years. it's an exciting change, moving from barista to baker, but i haven't acclimated to the lifestyle quite yet. it's weird to be getting ready to go to bed when you can still see light in the sky. last night i was reminded of my struggles with going to bed as a little kid in the summertime when it was still light outside. how can a person get her body to fall asleep when subconsciously it feels like it still has time to play. i've been a night person for so long, i'm pretty surprised i've been able to do it.

last week we opened our third location at the Veteran's Hospital (a location i'm pretty excited about, peoplewise. lots of interesting folks milling about over there, i'm sure.) so along with baking i spent some time trying to keep everything somewhat stable due to my boss's attention being focused on her new counter. i was still on my regular work schedule for my courier job which meant i was working from four in the morning until four in the afternoon. not easy, not easy at all. i was tired. i spent most of saturday on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

this week is better, i've changed my courier schedule to allow me to get done earlier in the day and i'm getting more used to the early bedtime. my sister reminded me how my parents laughed when i decided i wanted to be a teacher and said but how are you going to get up in the morning every day? my how things change.

in much more exciting news, i found out my new cat friend is actually a boy. i took him to the vet yesterday for his vaccinations and during the initial exam it was discovered that she was a he. oops. i guess it's difficult to tell when they're so young. i'm glad i chose a pretty gender-neutral name. now i just have to get used to the idea. haha. all of the folks at the veterinarian told me that boy cats are better anyway. so that's good.

so that's where you'll find me now. thinking mostly about baking and cats.

harper

2008-06-02T20:00:00.001-07:00

please welcome harper. she is my newest friend. she is somewhere around 10 weeks old and i love her. she's kinda crazy but she's cute when she's sleeping and it took me a long, long time to come up with her name. i'm still nervous it won't catch on, but i think it's better than just calling her "kitten".

it's been some time since hazel (may she rest in peace) was stealing things from me, and i was beginning to really feel like i needed another li'l friend. so i graduated up to Cat from Rat.

she's neat. she purrs really loudly.

end of scenic route

2008-05-22T09:51:00.001-07:00

i think the "scenic route" decider should be canned.

mt. shasta

2008-05-13T13:24:00.001-07:00

sometimes you just have to stop and think of something awesome.

(photo taken at the shasta abbey - mt. shasta, california)

work

2008-05-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

(taken with my nikon. woo!)

this photo reminds me of my pa. getting up really early in the morning to leave for the mine with his igloo lunch box and returning late in the evening with boots covered in mud.

i picked up five rolls of film from gordon's yesterday. thank goodness i had a birthday gift card in hand (thanks brother!) to help with the cost. the development process is so anxiety-ridden, from the minute i drop the rolls off to the second before i rip open the envelopes. it's difficult. i worry each and every time that i didn't load my film correctly, ruined the whole roll, or did something in my picture-taking process to screw everything up.

but i'm proud to say i have a whole stack of my favorites already separated from the whole pile and have even put two up in frames (birthday present frames from the awesome eQ.) on my wall. there are some good shots, a few i'd even consider submitting to Shooting the West next year. so that's exciting.

and i'm starting to get a good idea of how to use my camera. it's a costly way to find out what settings just don't work out on the Jungo Flats or how rushing through focusing really isn't a good idea, but i'm starting to feel pretty comfortable with my heavy nikon. i even think i can load it right almost every time!

so that's where you'll find me now. sifting through prints.

the log that got away

2008-04-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

it's log
it's log
it's big
it's heavy
it's wood.

it's log
it's log
it's better than bad
it's good.

we're at that point

2008-04-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

(bush outside my apartment courtyard)

we're at that point in between seasons where it's time for sprinklers to be turned on, but also time for the sprinkler water to freeze in the morning. it's time for a few warm days to elicit shorts and sandals to be worn on days when the temperature drops back down to forty degrees because hopes were high.

there was a moment yesterday when i caught myself right before i started to think negative thoughts about being warm driving around in my car for my courier job. if i start complaining now about it being warm, what in the hell is summer going to be like when triple-digit-temperatures are in the majority? sheesh. i should be pinched for that.

nesting

2008-03-26T12:39:00.001-07:00

get it? nesting? see the nest? man. i'm funny.

so i didn't really mean to leave up my "ho hum" entry like that. all out there and up front for however long it's been up there. so. i'm adding another photo.

i saw this nest in a tree downtown by the river. i liked it, so i took a picture of it. naturally.

i'm keeping my fingers crossed for spring.

fun on both sides

2008-03-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

when i looked at this photo today, i thought that's kind of what i'm feeling... like i'm on the wrong side of the chain-link fence.. standing on the side covered in foliage, not on the fun side with the swing set.

but sometimes i get really swept up in everything that doesn't go right, the bad things that happen, the things that don't go the way i want them to, the things that aren't how i want them, etc etc etc.. all of those things. they range from every day that goes by that i'm still driving my older brother's truck whilst my car is getting fixed to the hours i've spent trying to get my bathroom sink to drain quicker than twenty-five minutes.. they are the student loan sharks calling me and my folks and toothaches that remind me i don't have the insurance/money to get cavities fixed..

i can spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. and i do, i'll admit it. i get wrapped up in all of this stuff, i let it build and build and build and overwhelm. i lose sleep and gain weight and from experience i know that this affects my immune system and i catch every cough and cold going around. and when that happens, it takes a lot to pull myself out from under that little black rain cloud. it even gets to the point where i start to feel worse because i'm feeling this way.

i don't have it so bad. it's annoying to me when i let all of this get me so far down. every day i'm face-to-face with folks that, to me, have it much worse. they are battling cancer, they are losing limbs to diabetes, they are depressed and sad, they are eating out of garbage cans, they are just plain struggling and there i am, losing sleep because i can't decide what i want to do next in my life.

but bouncing my problems off of those i see who have it worse doesn't seem right. i shouldn't need to feel better by comparison. there is suffering everywhere. it comes in all shapes and sizes and affects everyone differently. sometimes i feel bad, yes, but i shouldn't feel better because i know that other people feel worse.

i should feel better because i do things to make those other people feel better. i should feel better because those things that make me frustrated and upset aren't as big as i have built them up to be. i should feel better because this negativity is temporary, it's fleeting, it's all going to be gone before i know it. one day is gloomy, the next is glaringly beautiful.

what i really need to do is stop taking everything so goshdarned seriously. i mean, crap. it's a hoot out there. laughing and being happy is fun and i'm pretty good at it, actually.

it's a change of perspective. i need to go from looking at life through the chain-link fence to looking at it after hopping over to the other side.

so. that's where you'll find me now. super wrapped up in myself. woo!

easy like sunday morning

2008-03-02T12:28:00.001-08:00

my favorite kind of sunday morning starts quietly. it opens with a hot cup of coffee, a good book and a bathtub. it is created with sunshine and silence, coffee and bathtub bubbles, wordsmiths and relaxation.

(a slice of my homemade banana bread is a nice touch, also.)

have a good sunday, that's where you'll find me now. doing just that.

looking down

2008-02-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

standing atop my ladder, reel in hand, wearing waders and happily catching nothing..

northern nevada

2008-02-14T22:17:00.000-08:00

(northern nevada from the amtrak train)

i've been trying to write something here for quite some time.. but every time i sit down to do so, i lose the motivation or the wherewithal.. i have a lot on my mind, a lot to talk about, a lot to put out there, but i just can't seem to do it.. easily distracted, i guess. or maybe it's a matter of finding a starting point..

so far this year i've had two incidents involving my li'l red ford focus. actually, those two events happened within weeks of each other. the most recent being severe enough to require driving it to The Muc to get it fixed. severe enough to have to depend on the kindness and generosity of Big Brother, who is lending me his pickup truck so i can continue to do my courier job. severe enough to cause some anxiety for me and my pops.

but. about the photo. it was taken on my train ride back to the biggest little city on a sunday afternoon. the ticket is a mere $29. i'm not sure how this photo turned out so well, it was shot through the grimy lounge car window whilst moving at a considerable speed. just lucky, i guess.

i've always enjoyed the amtrak train rides. you can never depend on them as far as time goes but the ambience makes up for the tardiness in my book.. people are a lot more social while taking this form of transportation, sitting in the sightseeing/lounge cars allows for eavesdropping on all sorts of conversations.. this past trip i was sitting alongside a handful of teamsters/railroad workers and their conversations about the unions, the transportation industry, different trucks/routes/companies kept me engrossed in what they were saying rather than the book i had brought along with me.. they spoke candidly about their jobs and how, for most of them, they were falling on difficult times.. at one point i learned about the lights and signals the trains use and why they slow down/speed up/wait when they do..

it was like seeing a slice of america up close and personal.. along with the transportation workers, there were Mennonites (maybe? there's usually a family or two of these folks travelling on the train with me whenever i go anywhere.. i'm assuming they're Mennonites or some variation thereof by their clothing and the way they handle themselves. i could be totally wrong, but hey. at least i'm admitting it?), German tourist couples, young families with small children, old folks and other single people like me.. all people trying to get from one place to another..

anyway. that's where you'll find me now. well. not exactly. but you get the idea.

wallet and scarf

2008-02-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

well. almost a scarf. this is what happened to my practice piece. i really want to be good at knitting. i find it mostly frustrating and confusing. i definitely learn by example, not from following diagrams in books. or at least the diagrams i've been looking to for help. i'm what we call a "hands-on learner". hrm.

the blue corner in the corner is the wallet i bought in new york when i was there in january.. it was handmade in portland.. (it is from Queen Bee Creations. they've got other things on their website. pretty awesome.) i think it's fantastic. it makes me feel kinda like an adult and helps to keep all of my stuff i would normally shove in a few pockets in order. i haven't lost my debit card in ages. i thank the wallet.

that's it for now.

hobo cart

2008-02-05T22:37:00.000-08:00

me and this cart were on the same page.. hop on and ride into.. actually.. it would've been away from the sunset.. since the train was headed east..

yes we can!

2008-02-04T15:25:00.000-08:00

(be sure to read the text at the bottom written by will.i.am)

YES, WE CAN.

my big sis

2008-01-29T21:43:00.001-08:00

i really like this picture of her.. even though there's more of everything else than there is of her, i still like it..

and how.

where she lives

2008-01-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

i'm still plowing through the photos i took whilst in new york visiting the big sister. if'n you want to see what i took photos of on our statue of liberty/ellis island day, i have a flickr photoset HERE. (that photoset is available to those without flickr as well! if any of those people still exist. ha.)

my big sis's neighborhood reminds me of some belfast neighborhoods.. it's always nice to walk the dog around, like to the dog park and back.

this is down the street from her apartment:

as is this:

big yards aren't really a priorty (or possible):

i was there the second week in january and there were plenty of christmas trees out on the curb.. i liked this scene, with the matching leftover christmas decorations and curbed christmas trees..

this is the stairwell in big sis's apartment building:

this is what you see directly to the left when you step inside. the dog was getting dried off. notice the awesome pipe cleaner lampshade:

the big sis dries out her wishbones:

i like the place where she lives.. her apartment feels like her home and her neighborhood has plenty of quirks and characters..

that's where you'll find her now.

civic responsibility

2008-01-19T13:42:00.001-08:00

(changed into a democrat today. lost my independence. ha. although i'll probably change it back.)

handstands in central park

2008-01-15T11:49:00.000-08:00

i was lucky to have spent a week in new york with my sister.. it should've been 8 days, but as you can see from the photos below, it snowed too much in reno before/during my departure time.. i spent a little over five hours (including over an hour boarding/sitting on the runway/deboarding the plane) at the reno-tahoe international airport.. i was disappointed when i had to change my flight to the following day, we had a short window where we could've made it out but the plane we were to use was late getting to the airport and so we just missed it.

i took a few pictures from my window seat whilst waiting to see if the de-icing/anti-icing the plane is all for naught. this is just before the chemicals washed the snow off of my window:

but i did make it over to the east coast the next day.. during the week my sister and i went to central park.. i've been to new york a few times before, but i've never been inside the massive place.. we sat on a bench and learned about hibernating turtles (i'm a fan of the ol' iphone.) and did handstands and played checkers.. (there's a place The Chess House or something like that where you can trade your driver's license/i.d. for a set of checkers or chess pieces.) i haven't played in years and neither had my Big Sis.. but that didn't stop me from winning!

my bounty:

i was on a mission to get a picture of myself doing a handstand in central park. i realized how long it's been since i've even tried to do this acrobatic move when i had to try several times to really get a good one.

but i like the photos from the first couple tries better. (they're better when you click on them and they get bigger)

here's mine:

here's Big Sis's:

that's where you would've found me last week. i think she'll be posting photos from the past week over on her blogaroo.. check it out..

monsters

2008-01-11T22:23:00.000-08:00

(photos taken with my sister's phone)

watch out boy, he'll chew you up.

this is my paper mache monster. he is not a frog. he is not a human. he is not a rabbit. he is a monster.

(i'm in new york right now. brooklyn to be exact. my sister and i made monsters. we are awesome.)

these boots were made for walking

2007-12-04T14:33:00.001-08:00

(taken with my holga)

sorry, it's been a while. it's like we've all been stuck sitting in that chair.

in the time between then and now, stuff has happened. but for now, i need to clean up my apartment. so i've posted my favourite photo (for now) i've taken with my holga camera. weee!

yet another

2007-11-12T22:21:00.000-08:00

chairs, chairs everywhere. and not a drop.. to.. drink? that isn't exactly appropriate, is it. hrm. anyway.

white chair in an empty lot.

it's not a mystery that when you're looking for something like abandoned/empty chairs you start to find them everywhere. what you seek is all around you, or something like that.

have a seat, kids. the view might not be much, but you can rest your weary legs. if'n you need to.

honey bakery

2007-11-05T12:14:00.001-08:00

so. as i've said prior, i like to try new things.

this time i stopped into Honey Bakery, a (fairly) new Chinese bakery here in The BLC to check it out. my coffee counter jobs provide a wealth of information about various topics, one of them being Places To Eat. and while i don't always heed the advice of my coffee patrons, there are a few i have ventured into.

as i was pulling up to the front door, two different groups of two or three people were walking out of the place. i took this as a good sign, i didn't want this to be awkward. i was a little nervous about the whole thing, not knowing exactly/anything about what a Chinese bakery would have to offer.

i walked in and found a couple of friendly folks with a cute toddler eating a cookie waiting to help me. i told them straight away that i had no idea what i might want and that i had been given a great review about the place and thought i would stop in and try something. they smiled and the woman came around the counter to offer her advice pointing at different things, "this one is popular with Americans, these are savory and these are sweet, this one has curry chicken, this one is tuna, these are pineapple and pineapple coconut, this one has egg custard..." she was very sweet and not at all condescending or annoyed that she needed to give me advice. while she bagged my choices (curry chicken bun/egg custard bun) i looked around at all of the other items in the cases. it's not a huge place, about the size you'd expect for any bakery but they have a very wide variety of buns, rolls, cakes, cookies and other delectables. a few of the items caught my eye, one that looked like a sponge cake that was labeled "green tea" and single serving cups of tiramisu, in particular.

my buns were a dollar a piece (ha) and were soft and still a little warm to the touch. as i left the bakery, i was given advice on how to reheat them if i wasn't going to eat them today and was followed to the door by the shy little boy. i thought two dollars was an incredible price for what i got and i wouldn't have been insulted by a two or three dollar price tag for each. i got them home, took photos of them (of course) and tore into the chicken curry with gusto. the bun itself was incredibly soft and delicious, i suspect they're given a butter wash prior to baking. the chicken curry filling wasn't too spicy and it had other vegetables along with the chicken. yum. and i don't know exactly why i chose the egg custard bun, i am not a big fan of egg custard but wanted something sweet to offset the curry. it was good for being something i don't really like in other contexts. i enjoyed both immensely.

needless to say, i'd recommend the Honey Bakery to anyone. i would also recommend walking into someplace local and new and trying something different. and for two dollars, i'll be back for more buns.

my lunch before/after:

and a sideview:

silver linings.

2007-10-23T12:43:00.001-07:00

it's kind of annoying when they're so obvious. ha.

only the good die young..

2007-10-08T20:45:00.001-07:00

ok, so. hazel died.

i've had a difficult time trying to write about this. not because i'm too emotionally overwrought about losing a dear little buddy that liked to chew anything made of anything resembling paper, but because whenever i start to write or talk about it, i feel flippant. i make jokes and speak frankly and focus more on the fact that she's in a box in my freezer than how it's a little lonely around my apartment without her stealing mail or snuggling up in my blankets for naps. she was a good little buddy, we were fast friends and i miss her dearly.

but i like to think i'm pretty grounded when it comes to death. life is impermanent and everyone dies. mourning, in the traditional sense, is just not my thing. i am sad, but i am ok with it and all right and everything is fine. i've cried my tears for hazel, she was my pal and kept me company when i was feeling pretty lonely living all by myself here in the biggest little city. she always made me laugh and she was nice to everyone. (except francis, eQ's rat friend.)

but. she got sick and a short while later, she breathed her last little rat breath. i sat with her, made her as comfortable as i could and when she was dead, put her in a box with pieces of various nests she's kept throughout my apartment and her favourite treats and put her in my freezer. i'm going to take her to The Muc and bury her amongst a few of my other favorite animal friends.

so. a few photos in memoriam. you will be missed, hazel b.

video test

2007-09-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

i've just realized that i can upload videos to the ol' blog. on my last train trip to san francisco i made a few with my iShuffle and digital camera.

i'm sooo artsy. hehe.

so my computer is back up and running. hence the new stuff. i have loads and loads to say, of course, but uploading this video will have to do for now.

day late and a dollar short

2007-09-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

what the Big Sis (a current resident of The Big Apple) had to say about september eleventh:

Today is the day in my neighborhood when burly men can hug each other in the street outside the bar and do that manly hug that is all embracing, with lots hard pats on the back without looking around and feeling embarrassed.

I think its a better reminder than having to watch all of the news shows with the same footage and same stories fake being empathetic so they can all pat themselves on the back for the Best 10 o'clock 9/11 Retrospective News Special Feature anyway.

and i need to mention my computer is in the shop at the moment, has been out of order for a small while now and hopefully within three to six days i'll have it back, and will be able to share photos from The Burning Man and other stuff with you all. until then it is some of that old fashioned sporadic internet action. reminds me of my younger days, back when i had to walk somewhere to connect with others.

be good.

trying something new

2007-08-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

i found a random recipe for chocolate chip cookies on the ol' internets and voila, as the french say. while i don't think i could really taste the espresso coffee powder the recipe called for, i could taste the deliciousness overall.

i've never made chocolate chip cookies before. my sister always made them. i never had to. they were always delicious. and they still are, we had some last christmas when i spent my holidays in brooklyn. but i didn't feel like waiting until i made that trip again to have some homemade happy biscuits.

so i went for it, tried something new. waited until about ten o'clock at night so the heat from my oven wouldn't drive me to pull the shelves out of my fridge and hide-out until i felt cool enough to crawl out of its dark, frigid belly.

i like baking. i like to cook new things. i like going for it, putting together something that might work and then having it be something i want to eat all two dozen of immediately. (i didn't. i shared.) they were a little more crunchy the next day than i would like, but that didn't stop me from eating a sandwich-bag-full on The Train between here and a meeting in The City and back. i'm considering making more, seeing as i have all of the ingredients and no more cookies. plus. i do have to perfect my recipe.

yum.

and what's a post on the internets without a picture of myself of some sort. i took this photo when eQ and i were driving to the haunted cement plant:

that's where you'll find me now. trying something new. you should do it too. try something new.

haircutness

2007-07-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

the world is on fire. or at least the mountainside. and a bunch of other places. every day somewhere new is aflame. it's a different spin on talking about the weather with the old people at the coffee counters. it is something to tune into the local news for, something to check up on, something to share.

yes indeed. and on somewhat of a whim, i made the appointment and got my hairs cut. this comes at a time when i think i need some change. as superficial and cosmetic as that seems, it was more of a symbolic act, a change of habitual patterns or something, i don't know. but. it feels good now. i like it. it is something different.

plus it gives me the excuse to take loads of pictures of myself. bonus! here are some.

hot hot heat.

2007-07-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

it is summertime and "hot" doesn't really describe the shock of stepping out of air conditioned buildings. our temperatures are compared to those of las vegas and while the south wins this time, i can still find enough in our own triple digits to declare my fourteen dollar fan "This Season's Best Investment".

the security guard jokes with the people coming to and from appointments about how cold it is outside. he asks people why they don't have jackets. they mostly smirk, some take this opportunity to complain about the heat while others share gossip about how hot it is going to get tomorrow and next week. everyone is happy to share their forecasts, especially if their temperature is more extreme than everyone else's.

i drive around all day using my air conditioner in my car sparingly. for the environment, for speed, for my bank account, i sweat. i always find it difficult to feel completely comfortable in the air conditioned environment of my car. for whatever reason, it doesn't ever get cold enough. or something like that. so i drink huge jugs of water and sweat. which can get embarrassing, but then i think to myself - everyone else is sweating. why do i take it so personally? it is one hundred and nine degrees outside, of course i'm going to sweat. who wouldn't? at least a little? it didn't help that i took a rather large pull off of a large jug of water and bumped the bottom on the steering wheel waiting for the light to turn green. i did this trying to put the lid back on. sloshing the water on my face and all down my frontside. of course i did the quick look to see if anyone in any of the cars surrounding me noticed, but no one seemed to. (almost disappointing in itself. i sometimes like to share my embarrassment to make me laugh it off a little easier.)

sunshine on my shoulders does make me happy. but it also makes me tired and sweaty. i think it might be time for another cold shower. that's where you'll find me now.

for now. here's something funny. please note the misspelling.

still alive and a brief brush with death.

2007-06-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

yes. i have not updated this in a pretty long time. and for that, i'm sorry. i have no excuses, really, save laziness and distraction. maybe some being out of townness and a poor sick rat.

you see, hazel developed some sort of lung infection, poor thing. there were a few days of sneezing and squeaking (rats don't usually squeak) and a stuffy nose that i thought would probably go away. but then it worsened. and worsened. and her breathing became more and more laboured. and i then i started to get worried. so i looked up a vet that said they treated small animals and gave them a call to set up appointments. they were entirely reassuring and made me feel a whole lot better about taking her in someplace.

so i did. and the grave look on the vet's face as she examined the rat x-rays (i wish i could get a copy of those. they were cute.) made my heart sink. i cried at the vet. i stood with my back to the front desk and tried to compose myself before i had to talk to the vet again and tried to catch my breath and not just lose my shit. and i thought i had, i really did. but when she came back to ask me if i wanted to do the "iron lung"-esque treatments and i just started crying.

and so we did. the treatments. and i gave her antibiotics. and she wasn't that much better after the first few days. and she would just come home from spending all day at the vet and sleep. on the third night she slept on my bed for a good eight hours. and then when i was walking into my room around midnight, i kicked her. she was running around. it was like she had suddenly felt a hundred times better. out of nowhere, she was acting better. eating food. and then after that, she just got better and better. and now she's back to stealing things and wreaking havoc. the other day, on a hot afternoon (i have no air conditioning) she climbed up on the coffee table and fell asleep. too cute.

it was touch and go there for a while. i was really, really worried about her. i know she isn't going to be around forever. she's a rat. they don't live very long.. but she is my friend, my buddy, my pal. she is a living creature and she's awesome. so. i did what i could. and she's still here. wahoo!

other stuff is happening. but. i think i need to space these updates out. make it seem like a lot. ha.

anyhoo. i'm still here. in the biggest little city. that's where you'll find me now.

another chair. another photo.

2007-05-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

yep. more exciting things coming soonish.

some friends of mine.

2007-05-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

i was early to class this past thursday and spent the extra time sitting on a bench by the campus lake. i pulled a piece of pumpkin bread out of my bag and was soon surrounded by winged friends. there were about four parent geese, ten or so goslings and a couple of swans.. i got the feeling they've been fed before..

i took a few pictures. of course.

so fuzzy and cute!

this guy hissed at me a bunch. he didn't like the fact i was so close to the li'l ones.

(we're watching you)

2007-04-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

this made me laugh. and look around to see if i could actually see anyone looking at me through the windows. and i couldn't. maybe because i didn't have a dog with me, who knows.

yesterday's walk was overcast and threatening rain.. i didn't take any photos (the one above is from a few days ago) but i spotted a few places i'm hoping to make it back to sometime.. doing a little scouting.. haha..

i don't have anything to say, really. my belly is full of stress caused by the end of the semester quickly approaching.. blah blah. that's about it.

awesome.

that's where you'll find me now. watching you through the window.

fotografias

2007-04-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

it's like i can't stop. but i should. and get the rest of my schoolwork done.

newest photo i uploaded at stencil face

and my weekly photo contest entry.
theme: neighborhood

a three hour tour

2007-04-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

and by three hour tour i meant two hour walk.

the weather was beautiful this afternoon. i grabbed a couple cameras (digital and polaroid - my nikon is still somewhere else, somewhere in idaho i assume) and took a walk. i accidentally tromped around the biggest little city an hour longer than i originally planned, messing up my dinner and schoolwork plans somewhat.

i have to say these eleven hour workdays are not easy to follow up with hours of school stuff. but it seems pretty easy to follow my workday with a two hour walk and one hundred and twenty-three photos taken.

the weather widget on my dashboard tells me it is going to be eighty-four degrees this weekend. that is something to look forward to. even if i have to spend saturday working on school stuff (i am getting very near the end of the semester) i reckon i will be doing so in a place i can enjoy all eighty-four of those degrees.

anyhoo. here are a couple of my current favourites from today:

the four windows.

the blue wall.

(moon rocks)

2007-04-19T00:53:00.000-07:00

on my last trip from Here to There and back, i found the moon.

pack rat

2007-04-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

so i have this bad habit. when something on the ground catches my eye, something shiny or out of the ordinary, i pick it up and put it in my pocket. i am a pack rat. i have all kinds of little bits of things tucked into little jars and drawers and bags and pockets. i can't say most of what i pick up is in any way utilitarian, which is why i've decided to not do this anymore. it is not easy. i have to make conscious decisions about reaching down and putting something into my pocket.

(when i see an attractive something i have to tell myself "do not pick that up. you do not need to pick that up and put it in your pocket. please. don't.")

so i've established some helpful tips/guidelines for myself.
1. i can pick up things i may be able to use sometime or somehow. this includes paper clips, washers, safety pins, ballpoint pens, etc.
2. if i see something i want to really, really pick up i will just take a picture of it. (see above)
3. i can pick up and keep ball bearings.

so hopefully i will be able to lighten the load, so to speak. one little shiny object at a time.

that's. where you'll find me now. wahoo.

happy friday

2007-04-06T21:01:00.000-07:00

yes. a picture of my buddy hazel. i put her in this bag (thanks pete!) thinking it would annoy her. she ended up falling asleep hanging from my lamp.

stencil face

2007-04-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

i want somewhere to put my photos up. mikecpeck helped me with this. i'm still working on it, getting it all figured out and how i want it. but. i've thrown a few of my latest photos up there.

check it out.

STENCIL FACE!

virginia city

2007-03-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

my dad took this picture of guns.

and he wrote THIS.

you should go there and read that. click on his gun picture because it gets better when it's bigger. do that. and then you will know.

my feet are wet

2007-03-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

(a beautiful, old gnarly tree in genoa, nv)

my feet are wet and i met a quadriplegic once. he apologized for even asking, but did i have any spare change? guilty hands felt the pile of coins in my pockets. isn't that more of an insult? to give him a handful of pennies? thinking there were a few silver pieces in there, i reached for it. blushing, i told him that was all of it. no doubt to make myself feel better about the situation than to ease his weary soul. we stood on that street corner for ten minutes, talking about how hard it is for a person like him to get along in this world.

he was a struggling writer. his wife, a fellow quadriplegic, had left him for a better something. it was too hard for her, her troubles were doubled up being with him and it was easier to live that particular life alone. plus, as he tells me amidst the passer-bys staring at us but mostly at him, she was more successful with her writing. she had out-published him and from his scowl and tone of voice appeared late night fights about money and egos. i wondered for a moment if her paraplegia allowed her to throw things in his general direction, across their dimly lit apartment, or if she was limited to scornful verbal abuse.

this town isn't for the handicapped, he said. he wrote a passionate article about abuse and violence against women to never see it gather an audience. he blames the paralysis, his situation, his useless body for his inability to get his words in print.

i cringed when he asked me why i was here, what brought me to a town like this one. with my guilt, almost any answer to that question would've given me a better quality of life than what he had spent the last ten minutes describing to me. but i told him my story - graduate school, music teacher, all of it. he asked me questions about my own situation with genuine curiosity and i told him the truth about everything. there's certainly no use in pretending i am worse off than i really am. i didn't want to be like so many of my peers, feeling it necessary to prove they are struggling using untruths about how hard, how poor, how tough IT is. i wasn't about to try and gain sympathy for my situation from a seemingly homeless man confined to an old, rickety motorized wheelchair whose fingers are the only mildly controllable part of his body. he seemed to sense this and as we finally crossed the street, told me to continue down the path i've chosen. i walked slow as he spoke with earnest about making good decisions and more importantly, getting out of this town.

i gave him directions to the local shelter and walked with him part of the way there, parting ways when we made it through the construction zones and were in sight of his destination. i told him to take care of himself and he told me to do the same.

walking around the biggest little city during tonight's snow flurries made me think of him. with hopes he was inside somewhere warm reading an article he had written. the only other people on the street were homeless men pulling dirty coats a little tighter, searching for doorways to block the wind or any relief they could find from the cold - just these men and one young hawaiian t-shirt, cargo shorts adorned gentleman carrying a large, stuffed, fuzzy basketball recently won under the big top in Circus, Circus no doubt. i chuckled cynically at the juxtaposition. the young man proudly displaying his prize to anyone that would pay attention, his only audience a handful of people who would rather eat with the money he threw away trying to win something so useless. i wondered what the quadriplegic man would have to say about the young man in his weather-inappropriate clothing. i wonder what he would say about many things. my shoes don't keep out the snow, my feet are wet and i met a man once.

RNO

2007-03-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

took a good, long walk around the ol' neighbordhood last night. there was a punk rock show around one corner, deserted streets around the other. someone in town has a new albert einstein stencil and the goldfronts have been busy plastering their stickers everywhere.

it was a good wander.. the city felt quiet and the sweatshirt on my back was enough to keep me warm.. it's been a whirlwind of a month.. march has been a very full month..

i'm looking forward to a handful of hours from now when i can do some more wandeirng.

an open letter to the ladies.

2007-03-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

(standing in the driveway drinking mimosas in the sun.
a glorious way to start out a st. patrick's day.)

to my ladies:

i woke up this morning at six. i floated in and out of conciousness
until about six twenty, giving me ten minutes to get out of bed, put
my contacts in, put some clothes on and drive to work. this isn't
enough time.

i had a glorious weekend.

as i sat in the airport waiting for my (delayed) flight to leave, sad
songs kept playing in my headphones. this didn't help the melancholy.
i felt like i was coming down from a really good drug trip.

my life felt really quiet, sitting in my apartment by myself. i spent
about five minutes looking at emails, checking the ol' "space" and
importing photos. and i spent the next ten minutes just sitting. hazel
was curled up in the covers on my bed and everything was still. it
felt odd. i love living by myself, but right then i wished i had
someone sprawled out on the sofa reading bukowski, someone sitting at
the kitchen table pecking away at a typewriter, someone sitting in my
rocking chair thumbing through a stack of record albums and someone
sitting on my front stoop smoking a cigarette. i fell asleep with a
pen in my hand - i was right (write!) in the middle of jotting down
things i wanted to be sure to remember, a Weekend Recipe of sorts, an
Instruction Manual for Having Fun.

we should do that again sometime because well.. it doesn't get much
better than that.

i love and miss you both.
sara

alley walking

2007-03-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

i took an alley walk this evening. me and my camera(s) were feeling antsy after work so as the sun set in the biggest little city, i enjoyed the last bit of warmth (sandals!) and sunlight. i also filled my ears with songs from my music library i couldn't recognize by their titles, well, for the most part. there was more than one moment where i noticed the calm i felt, a calm that wasn't there before i left.

i'd say it was almost perfect.

and. here are some photos. i was on the lookout for photo opportunities for The Weekly Photo Contest. this week's theme is time. the window is my official entry. more at flickr.

antique store window:

sunset shadows:

alley exhibition excerpt:

abandoned place to sit:

and. that's where you'll find me now. in an alley somewhere taking pictures of stuff.

my birthday shirt.

2007-03-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

so well. i've been busy. this is a photo eQ took of me in my birthday shirt and birthday hat. sorting through moustaches on the table, trying to find the right one.

for other birthday photos check here: Moustache Portraits and Moustache Candids. i had a great time on the ol' celebration day.. the only requirement was to wear a moustache. everyone could choose their own style and material and the hats just sort of happened. it was great, once they had these staches on, everyone got these personalities and acted goofy all night long.

anyhoo. i have an apartment to clean, some laundry to do and a few papers to write.

so. that's where you'll find me now.

amigos!

2007-02-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

Nobody Gets Booed Down Here

go there. read that article. an interview with a pal of mine from burning man. he spends his "summers" in antarctica.. that article up there is about his job and what he does and what it's like down there.. pretty interesting stuff..

at one point in the middle of the night, during the most hellish graveyard shift at the box office - lines of hundreds of people very far out into the parking lot - he tickled me until i almost peed my pants. while i can't say i like being tickled for so long i almost pee my pants, i have to say it did break the monotony.

there was also another moment on a night before the event actually started...i was wandering around on a cold night and heard this beautiful, eerie banjo pickin'. as i got closer i realized it was Toof (aka Sean Corkery aka Toofless Sean) sitting up against the open trunk of his car, drinking a beer and playing the banjo.. it was just what i needed at that moment on that cold night.. a beer and some banjo..

i have some awesome friends. i am constantly reminded of this. when they're interviewed by pitchfork media, when they're invited to join in an interactive music/art exhibition with doug martsch (frontman for built to spill) and their art is featured on the front page for the gallery, when they're doing their most to help people

especially when i receive thoughtful, fun and useful (!) packages in the mail. i was blessed this weekend with the gift of measuring cups from mr. mike peck. i was pleasantly surprised by this present from my pal Up North.. if i had a functioning digital camera, i'd feature a photo of them. (although rumor has it i will have my hands on one soon enough. another feature of awesome friends.) and they're lovely. all sizes! i don't have to measure the sugar by guessing! i'm going to be testing the safety of shipping baked goods via the postal service soon. two thumbs up for getting things in the mail.

also. two thumbs up for having awesome friends who do cool things!

Turn On Your Oven Day

2007-02-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

otherwise known as: a distasteful reference to the anniversary of Sylvia Plath's suicide (2.11.63). i happened upon this fact on the internet today and have managed to use my oven more than once in remembrance. or. in coincidence.

the first time i turned it on, my oven being the kind that's, well, old and needs to be lit with a match, i had this moment of overwhelming gas face. (ha! anyone who gets that reference deserves an automatic super high five.) like i had inhaled a little bit of it. i worried for a second, but then decided my sense of smell is so weird due to The Sickness, that it was nothing.

and then i made banana bread. delicious banana bread with marionberries, raspberries and blueberries. and because i didn't really leave the house today and have nothing really that interesting to talk about, i'll add that i didn't put chocolate in this loaf (as i normally do) because i haven't replenished my chocolate-for-baking supply.

AND i'm starting to make a list of all of the kitchen items i either never owned and "need" or owned but have lost to different moves and roommates. i apparently do not own a full set of measuring cups or measuring spoons. i have a mix of three different sets, none of which includes a 3/4 cup or 1/2 tablespoon. this is annoying when trying to bake anything. (especially when i saw an episode of martha stewart: living the other day and she called baking An Exact Science. my baking is nowhere near an exact science with my current tools. psh.) but i make do. i actually make damn tasty, is what i make.

in other exciting shut in news, hazel slept all day. most of the time curled up in my afghan on the couch. too cute. i wondered today what my human/rat relationship would've been like had i chosen differently amongst the twenty or so rats in the rat aquarium. how much of hazel's personality is environmental? nature vs. nurture. hm. i love her. and i wouldn't have her any other way. she is crazy and makes me laugh all of the time. woo!

and now. i must go. i am feeling better, i will be working tomorrow and well. my life is just that exciting.

QUARANTINE

2007-02-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

last night i had hot eyeballs. that's an uncomfortable feeling, you know, hot eyeballs.

i've been sick. i am sick. i caught something at the end of january (according to my last post, it was the twenty-second. hrm.) which turned into an ear infection. for which i was taking antibiotics and getting better. i thought i was pretty much awesome. good to go.

but i woke up last wednesday with another fever. i went to work for about an hour, to cover for a co-worker who went to hawaii, and thought if i got a couple hours of sleep i'd be able to make it to my other job that afternoon. i slept and when i made it into (runner job) work they'd already given up hope on my appearing (no blame there) and gave my errands to the office manager. at that point i still had a fever. a chest burning cough. and the boss told me i'd be better off going home. so i home i went.

it feels like i spent a week watching daytime television. when really it was only all of thursday. i found myself flipping between tyra and rachael ray. with "teens in the sex trade" and "teenage cosmetic surgery" as their respective themes. coincidence? i'm not sure.

i tried to sleep but it just wouldn't happen. i drank tea with valerian root. i looked up "fever help" on the internet. i took some baths. and watched television. i got some sleep here and there, and on friday i felt better. i even worked on friday.

but friday night, my eyeballs went hot. another fever. it was frustrating. i haven't had fevers like this in a long time. since i was a little kid, i think. i don't know. i remember when i was young a friend of my sister's had a fever and went all delirious and tried to cut the stereo cord with a pair of metal scissors. they called her "sparky" after that. i kept thinking of that. i took aspirin. i took another lukewarm bath. i looked up more home remedies for fevers on the internets. (coat your feet with vegetable oil and rub them with garlic. stick garlic in your ears. uhm. more stuff with garlic. apparently it's more magical than i thought. and i thought it was pretty magical.)

i make a pretty sad shut in.

i spent my friday night with lewis and clark. me and ken burns and the corps of discovery. i also found out that saturn's close to the earth right now. in opposition to the sun, the closest and most visible that it will be for quite some time. because it's in opposition to the sun, this means it rises as the sun sets and at midnight it's pretty much straight up in the sky. check it out. visible to the naked eye but with a telescope you can see the rings. or so the television says.

but. my saturday has been pretty fever free. i did the dishes and cleaned off my kitchen table. i watched gone with the wind (why did i not remember pretty much the entire second half of that movie? how could i forget about bonnie blue?) and even left the house to have dinner. and while my eyeballs are sore, they are not hot.

so. keep your fingers crossed for a fever free sunday and a future of cool eyeball days.

take three times daily

2007-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

(taken in new york city at st. patrick's cathedral)

i think votive candles are a decent representation for the past week..

let's start with a week-ago-monday.. otherwise known as "Blue Monday".. the twenty-second of january is/was apparently the most depressing day of the year.. (see article link, via fox news. ha.) and i can't say i wasn't feeling some of that depression for all of that particular monday..

i found out late the night before that a friend of mine had been killed in a car accident.. the news had changed from "grave condition" to "gone" in just a few hours, leaving little time for the initial news to sink in.. not allowing for any real sense of hope to surround the shock of what had happened..

that night i tossed and turned with a fever and thoughts that maybe i had misunderstood. maybe when i got the phone call i had jumped to conclusions. i had misheard and he was still alive. what was i going to tell the people i had called and given the terrible news? how was i going to explain myself? would they understand?

when i awoke the next morning, Blue Monday, my fever was at its peak and i had to be at work at six thirty a.m. i went and while i tried to explain how shitty i was feeling to my boss, the degree to which i felt shitty was unexplainable.. i had a fever and a friend of mine was dead.. it didn't help that i had little to no information about what actually happened and what was happening.. not that i necessarily needed it, it just made things a little more complicated to explain.. all i could really think about was his wife and kids.. how i was told she wouldn't go in and talk to the doctor when it initially all took place.. what she was going to do, how she was going to handle the loss of her husband and the father/stepfather to her kids.. thankfully, as the week went on, she was surrounded by loads of family and friends..

and while i could go on about my perspective on death, impermanence of all things, the meaning of life, i won't.

i will say it was a beautiful funeral and service.. everyone who spoke reiterated what an incredible person he was. he had a knack of making people feel special.. he would listen if you really had something you needed to get off your chest.. he was loud, boisterous, full of something exciting that most people could only wish for.. he wanted everyone to have a good time.. if he thought you were down, he'd do his best to cheer you up.. and as one of his brothers said, "he would give you a nickname a little bit cooler than you actually were.." i've known him for almost as long as i've lived in nevada.. i played sports with his little sister so i knew who he was.. but it was only since i moved to reno that i earned my right to a special handshake (in lieu of a nickname. well. as far as i know.) and the joy of his enormous hugs.. when he had his first child, i babysat and tried to help him feel comfortable as a new bumbling dad.. he was great with kids.. when his stepson got transformers: the movie on dvd, i was told he watched it with him every single time it was on. he probably encouraged multiple viewings. because he could be enthusiastic about almost everything.

i could go on and on. but this was more to explain what's happened over the last week starting with the most depressing day of the year than to ramble on about him. but he was a beautiful person. i will miss him.

where have all the internets gone?

2007-01-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

well. let's start at the sirens.

on saturday night/sunday morning, i was suddenly aware of sirens. lying in bed at somewhere near three a.m., they were loud and getting louder. "those are really close.." i thought.

and then there was a loud, frantic sort of knock at my door.

i can't say i wasn't apprehensive, a little bit nervous about who was knocking on my door. i opened it to a very panicked looking shavizzle.

"my apartment's on fire. can i borrow some socks?"

the next hour or so i spent watching the firemen (and woman) at work. it didn't seem to take them very long to put the fire out, use their fan machine thing to blow out the smoke, drag some of the really charred (possibly smouldering) stuff out, clean up some of the mess they made, inspect it and leave.. i spent most of the time standing on my front step (or just inside my apartment at the window) looking up in the direction of her place..

after the initial shock and panic, there was a lot of waiting to see what was going to happen, how bad the damage was going to be, if any of the apartments around hers (mine is two over and one down) were in danger or damaged.. that sort of thing..

from what i can remember, the fire inspector said it started in the furnace, or because of the furnace.. she had some clothes sitting near the thing that went up pretty quickly after it started and her attempts to put it out spread it to other points around the place.. i wonder how it would've turned out if she'd been able to pull the pin on the fire extinguisher (her neighbor even tried and couldn't.. she said something about it being zip-tied. which sounds negligible on account of the landlord to me. not very safe).

and she's ok.. she woke up to actual flames in her apartment and managed to only get a few small blisters on her hand.. very scary indeed.. she's moving into an open apartment in the adjacent group of apartments to where we live now, into a bigger place for the same price as her studio while they fix her place.. there's smoke/water damage, some holes in the wall and ceiling but i was actually surprised there wasn't more damage to the place.. and it's still hard to tell how much was ruined/damaged but shit man.. she's lucky to be alive and not badly burned..

it makes you think. would you be able, in a moment of extreme danger and panic, to grab the important stuff? do you have an idea of what you should do if your place of residence was to start on fire? is there anything you know you would definitely take with you? do you know how to operate a fire extinguisher? is your smoke alarm fully functional?

but to tie it all together.. i was pulling internet from her.. so at this moment, i'm down the street at Z's house hooked up to his. (thanks!) ordering my own internet.

so. that's where you'll find me now.

i have more to say, stuff about spending christmas in brooklyn (holla!) with the big sis. but. soon. promise.

here. are some photos of the fire damage:

(that's where she had something hanging on the wall..)

memories of cabin fever

2006-12-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

a few things:

1. it finally snowed here. it started as the vizz and i sat at big ed's eating a much needed saturday morning/afternoon after a friday night sort of lunch. i've been waiting for it to snow for quite some time, hoping to get a feeling of christmas in nevada before i hop on a plane to new york to visit the Big Sis. i am happy about this.

2. i have a handful of small things to do before i'm officially done with school for the semester. these past few weeks have been full of late nights. i can't remember a time when i did my assignments in plenty of time and didn't have the middle of the night moments where i curse myself for waiting until the last possible minute. in some crazy way, this process always works out for me. i just wish, sometimes, i didn't do it like that. i like sleeping. a lot.

3. i've been trying to get all of my old photos transferred from old computer to this one. or onto flickr. and i've been discovering some old gems. like this one:

this was taken after an evening of cabin-fever-induced nonsense. we (my interim/winter roomie and i) were getting a little tired of being inside. Z had come over to visit. him having a truck, us both having cars that were buried in the crazy amount of snow we had that winter.

over the course of the evening, we made nametags, i labelled numerous parts of my body according to my new, simplified anatomical plan.

you see. everything is either a leg, or it's not:

note the crook of my elbow:

(you know, normal things that people do when they're stuck inside.)

but it's funny to have one of those "snowstorm of 2005" stories. i've been secretly hoping for another winter like that. i'd feel better about driving around after the initial car-stuck-in-the-snow days now that i don't live up an enormous hill. it was a crazy winter and now i know what happens to my psyche when i'm inside for too long.

4. i am having the most difficult time coming up with a name for my soon-to-be new website. mr. mikecpeck has ever so kindly purchased a domain (BIG THANKS! yay!) for me and has offered to host it. or whatever it is. (i don't know that much about that stuff.) and while i'm constantly thinking about it, i am having the worst time deciding on something that's really and truly something i want. i am thinking too hard about this, i'm sure, but shit man. it's a tough decision. it will come to me soon, though. i can feel it.

well. that's where you'll find me now. head full of memories, a cold nose and a frustrated brain.

.the red lady, gogol and mr. claypool.

2006-12-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

she's a dollar store virgin mary. and she watches over my toothpaste at night. i've seen a lot of her these days. er. nights.

the semester is almost over. and i couldn't be more unexcited and excited at the same time. i have a lot to do before it's all over with, but two days after it is, i will be on a plane to brooklyn to visit the ol' big sis.

[the stress did not stop me from travelling to berkeley this weekend to see gogol bordello and primus. an incredible show. man. gogol bordello came out with so much energy and seeing them play that gypsy punk live was just what i was hoping it would be. i don't know how there were people in the audience sitting in their seats. i'm hoping to get myself hooked into the eastern european music scene. in that i want to find more of it to listen to. not that i want to move to eastern europe and join a band. i'd love to see them in a small, hole-in-the-wall club packed with people all dancing and flailing themselves about. i think that would've been more appropriate than the big auditorium we saw the show in.

primus. it's hard to put into words what les claypool does. he's a maniac. he's a madman. he kicks ass. throughout the show we saw him in a pig mask. a penguin mask (with a really pointy noise). a monkey mask. and these awesome black sunglasses. he's an amazing musician, he rips on his bass guitar (as well as his stand-up bass and whatever other wierd instrument he brought out) and his band follows right along. at one point the drummer wailed on his drums for ten (?) minutes and i had the thought, "you know.. i always thought that seeing live drum solos that last forever - i.e. john bonham - would've been terrible. but this. this is mesmerizing." at the end of his giant solo, les came back on stage and they got right back to it. their music is strange, experimental, loud but incredible. and it's not like i'm a primus super fan either. i own one les claypool & the frog brigade album. it's my mom who was always the big fan, i think she has all of their albums. i'd heard them, i can recognize their more famous songs. but i will be adding their stuff to my collection, that's for sure. if only to try and relive some of the moments from the show. ha ha.]

back to the grindstone. as they say.

cups and flute

2006-11-28T20:33:00.000-08:00

a friend of mine found a roll of film in her car a while ago.. maybe last year sometime.. and she had it developed and realized that they belonged to me.. (there are photos of my family in the batch) we hadn't connected on the exchange until a couple of days ago.. she stopped by my apartment with the photos in hand..

i think it was actually one of my first rolls of film and i was still learning how to use my camera..

it was fun, though.. looking through a stack of photos i took two years ago..

lights and smiles

2006-11-20T21:39:00.000-08:00

(more photos up at flickr.)

a shrubbery.

sort of.

a guy in my li'l apartment 'hood put up lights on the bushes outside of his abode for halloween. (pictured above) after halloween was over, he took them down and after a week or so, he put up his christmas decorations.

usually, in early november, when i see christmas decorations and/or hear christmas songs/advertisements, i grumble. too early!

"psh!" i say.

but when i saw my neighbor putting up his christmas decorations, adjusting his wreath and standing back with his arms crossed to see if it was perfect, it made me smile. it seemed like a pleasant activity he had himself wrapped up in. he wants to at one point during this busy afternoon, he had a friend standing with him, discussing the lights in the bushes. making sure. it's hard to be cynical about this guy putting up christmas decorations in early november when he seemed so genuine.

now everytime i pull up to the curb after dark, i smile.

that's. where you'll find me now.

a message to a friend in the middle of the night..

2006-11-13T21:32:00.001-08:00

mr. "o",

at this moment, right now, as i write this, it is one o'clock in the morning. monday morning, as some would call it. (i would rather consider the day beginning when the sun rises. but that's just me.) the people upstairs have decided that Now Is A Good Time To Operate Heavy Machinery. something that sounds like cleaning their carpets. i'm not sure what exactly is making the sound that is vibrating my ceiling/walls, but i know it's f------g obnoxious. a machine of some sort. but from what i can gather, the "work" they're doing is not too difficult. it sounds like they're having fun. i can hear laughter.

but the thing that makes it obnoxious to li'l sara sims (that's me) is the whole "inability to fall asleep" thing. i'm trying to be understanding about their situation. maybe this is the only time they have to do whatever it is they're doing. it's perfectly plausible, in The Biggest Little City, that they have the complete opposite work/sleep schedule that many people would call "normal". in fact, i know a lady who is just starting a shift. she works the graveyard shift at The ******* ***** Pub, but she is suitable for an ok example of how some people are awake when i'm usually asleep.

so i'm weighing my options:
1. pound on the ceiling with a broom handle. (something i've seen done only on television and in movies, i think.)
2. get dressed. go upstairs and let them know, politely, that what they're doing is extremely loud and to think of me needing to start an eleven hour work day (not including the schoolwork that will fill the rest of tomorrow evening) in approximately five hours. as they continue to do whatever it is that they're doing.
3. sit in my bedroom and fume over what is happening, without actually taking any course of action. well. besides complaining about it.
4. send out emails, read and write until i am too tired to be bothered.

so. as i consider what would be best for everyone in this situation, i'm sending this snippet to you. i'm actually hoping that what they're doing is almost done and that i will find myself chuckling at how annoyed i've become at such a petty situation.

two other things i want to ask/tell you:
1. what kind of camera do you have? i'm looking into getting myself a digital beast (mine has passed on) but i just don't know what i should get. do you like yours? does it suit your needs?

2. mr. o's is actually my favorite bar here in town. a small dive where, up until a few months ago, i could get a considerable glass of maker's mark for four dollars. (they've since caught on to me and are now charging almost twice that. i blame the old codger that owns the place.) plus it takes me ten minutes to walk there. a duration i find is perfect for both the Going To and Coming From. the previously mentioned lady, who works at the ******* ***** Pub, used to work the graveyard shift at Mr. O's. she has a pit bull she used to bring into the bar. she would always put as many free songs on the jukebox as was necessary. she lost her job at Mr. O's by supposably, going to jail. word on the street is, it was for drugs. she likes the sound of breaking glass. she is a sweetheart.

i think that about wraps this one up. the last few minutes have been quiet and i think i heard the folks upstairs evacuate their apartment. i had a sneaking suspicion that all it was going to take was a little bit of waiting.

happy monday.

saturday/sabado eleven/eleven

2006-11-11T22:55:00.000-08:00

list of things (some events omitted) i did on eleven/eleven:
1. finished nick hornby's Long Way Down
2. ate the best cheeseburger in town at Big Ed's
3. watched Stranger than Fiction
4. laughed
5. practiced leonard cohen's song Hallelujah on the guitar
6. purchased a "pro" flickr account
7. spent two hours sorting through various photos on my computer
8. told eQ "congratulations" on her opening
9. unpacked two boxes of compact discs.
10. stressed/panicked about school work
11. goofed around with hazel

i liked stranger than fiction. i am a will ferrell fan, yes. but i am a will ferrell fan in the sense that i look forward to movies in which he shares more of his acting scope. he can do more than his snl or old school characters do, i think. and the movie was quirky, had some cool graphics (mostly in the first 'act', which was good.. i think they would've been too much had they continued for any longer than they did..) and showed much heart. plus it featured a handful of actors i adore.. (dustin hoffman, will ferrell, maggie gyllenhaal, emma thompson). it was thoughtful, funny, entertaining.. and it really made me want to bake cookies.

i also went and watched babel on friday.. i'd heard from my brother that people have said that it was just another alejandro inarritu/guillermo arriaga film. and i will concede that it shares some of the same themes and their storytelling is done in the same way - novellas or different storylines interspersed and not necessarily told in chronological order with some of the more important bits of information withheld from the audience.. but i wouldn't say if you've seen one of their films, you've seen them all.. i'd recommend it to any of my friends.

it was a rainy day today. as shavizzle and i sat in the window booth at big ed's giggling at any old thing, the sky darkened and more rain fell. it was a comfortable, rainy saturday.

and i broke down this evening and put down the bones for the pro flickr account and i'm already happy i did. i have many more photos i'd like to add - including what i took while in peru - but i thought i'd give it a rest for now.

here's one of the new additions:

here are a few things i've found whilst wandering around the internets:

I'm Not a Look-A-Like.

A Meditation on the Speed Limit.

Death by Caffeine.

and yes. that is where you'll find me now. except for the saturday part. because now it's sunday.

two tries.

2006-11-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

**edit: please go and read my pa's glimpse into New Orleans a year after Katrina. if'n you want to know what it's like. there. hehe. from the perspective of someone who went a year before and is now there a year after.

so. i got my first roll of black & white film back. i don't have a scanner of my own, so i tried to use one of the university's. scanners are a foreign mechanism to me, i don't know how to use them, what settings to use, how i can do it better. so. until then, here are two of my tries. (the scanner makes the contrast look less.. contrasty.) they're also linked to my flickr account.

(during the wedding rehearsal. i wonder what's going through his mind.)

(this is one of a handful of photos i took of irene. she was getting rather tired of me putting my camera in her face.)

i only scanned the two, limited time and frustration with the machine. so there you go.

hop on the bus!

2006-11-05T12:52:00.000-08:00

looking through all of the photos on my computer, this one caught my eye. what a fun trip that was! how i wish to be out and about on some travelling adventure right this second! that is a photo of a bus in peru. from what i remember, the different colors will tell you which routes they run. handy, eh?

it's this whole School Thing.. as i've told many a folk, i'm feeling the weight of the last seven years on my shoulders.. with every paper i write, every project i have to do, every hour i spend doing research on something or other.. i think of how long i've been doing this..

[i have one redeeming course (classroom instruments) this semester, a class where i'm actually learning things i will use in my future classroom. woo! next week we'll actually be starting the recorder. hehe.]

it's stressing me out. i have to use every ounce of will to keep myself motivated. i have to push myself to complete my assignments, to stay up on my reading, to get something out of it. it's not easy. and it's annoying. but this particular semester will be over in less than a month (yikes) and then it will be much better. i am taking a class next semester on music in early childhood. (i like learning all kinds of things about music and kids. like how we're all born with an internal steady beat, our heart rate, and how it affects the tempo at which we create things musically as children.)

anyhoo. that's where you'll find me now. ball of stress. taking walks at night to clear the ol' noggin. breathing in cold wintery air, enjoying the whiffs of woodburning stoves, putting one foot after the other in an attempt to clear the butterflies out of my stomach. speaking of which, where did i put my coat....